Eliminating the Distractions

It's the last Wrestling night of the season for Bozeman's Little Hawks (1st through 5th grade). My third grader is soon to be for his first match; all four of his older brothers are volunteering as table workers and referees on other mats to avoid the appearance of a conflict of interest.

Since these guys are all from the same group, mostly, there are no coaches mat-side. Just the occasional dad. I've coached this particular son in two of these previous year-end extravaganzas, and been his baseball and football coach since he was six. It's almost his turn and my wife nudges me: "you better get over there; he's almost up".

I casually walk to the far side of the gym. Not every dad is as competitive as I am, and some who are just in this for the "fun of participating" (which I've always thought was politically-correct BS) may resent my active participation in my own child's success.

I kneel on the floor at a distance that I hope looks more like I'm spectating and cheering than actually coaching. The current match is almost over; my boy's turn is coming up. I call him to me.

I begin going over our strategy for this first opponent. Three sentences in he hold up his hand to stop me.

"Papa, Finn (his next older brother) says not to have you coach me. He says you're a distraction. I can do this on my own. You should go sit back down by Mama."

What do I say?

"OK, buddy. Good luck!"

I'm hurt, but a little impressed. When I explain to my wife and friends what he said they all laugh; no one harder than my friend who's same-age son just gave him the identical speech. (Did they cover this in practice?)

My boy wins his first match by pinning his opponent in under 25 seconds. Take down, half-nelson, roll him over, scoop the head. He's never wrestled this well! His second match goes the same way, almost scripted.

And that's it. My days of mat-coach are over. He's got a gold medal and I'm totally unneeded. He's outgrown me (at least in this capacity). He's worked hard and deserves the credit.

Too often at work managers get over-involved. Some places it's called micro-managing. They worry that without their input the poo's going to hit the fan; or worse, that it won't. If an employee succeeds without them, then they worry that they'll be identified as unnecessary instead of receiving the credit for the training, supervision, and help they've given to this success story. And, in too many cases, they're right.

The key is to take your time that is freed by independent and successful employees and make yourself valuable in other ways. The best choice is to go learn how to do your boss's job. If you're at the top of the ladder, improve your skills, increase your client base, turn your attention to other ways to grow the company and improve the other, weaker links.

Don't throw a pity party and don't become the distraction that keeps others from succeeding. Instead look for new opportunities; new wrestlers to coach.

On Any Given Saturday . . .

As our family transitions from Wrestling into Baseball and Track (we never transition OUT of Ballet - it goes all year) and I find myself gathering the notes for the next book, there are certain principles that Wrestling makes clearer than any other sport.

In Football we talk about "On Any Given Sunday" which, for you new fans, means that because of the complexity of the game and the variety of things (from weather to injuries to what the team ate) that can impact the outcome, any team has the chance to beat any other team "On Any Given Sunday".

That principle holds true in Wrestling as well. Any given tournament or dual any wrestler can beat any other wrestler. Sure, there are tactical advantages of Strength vs. Weight, and Skill level should never be discredited, but each wrestler needs to remember that he can beat his opponent, even if he's lost to him many times before.

Perhaps the most physical sport ever, the slightest change in physicality can make the difference. Did he slack in practice this week? Eat too much? Eat too little? Tweak his ankle on the walk over to the mat? Is he catching the latest flu bug?

Wrestling is also a thinking man's game; you're mind has got to be alert, you must have your head in the game or the risk of making a simple but costly mistake goes up exponentially. Did his girlfriend dump him? Are mom and dad angry? Is this guy better than I am?

Those and other issues floating around in an unfocused wrestler's head can force even the most experienced athlete to stick an arm or a leg in the wrong place at the wrong time.

In a sport where the score can turn in a second and a loss measured by increments of an inch, the best wrestlers are those that are both physically and mentally prepared, but even the best guys can get beat On Any Given Saturday.

In business, if we get caught thinking that there is no competition, if we fail to stay mentally alert and in the best shape possible, we're asking to get beat. We need to continuously train to be the best we are at what we do. Classes, Continuing Education Credits, Seminars, and personal study of our chosen vocation should never be brushed aside simply because we're "too busy".

We also need to keep ourselves and our staffs in good physical condition. Literally. Don't overwork your people! No client should be expected to understand poor customer service on the basis that your front line employees and sales people are overfed or under rested. True, you don't have the control over their time away from the workplace, but you can find ways to award those that are timely, well prepared, and have sharp minds and positive attitudes.

If we learn one more lesson from the On Any Given Saturday principle let it be this: just because we lost this match, that doesn't mean that we can't train harder, renew our focus, and win next time.